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| We took L shopping for her birthday. We hung out on the benches while we waited for her. |
I can't believe that 3/4 of my kids are now adults! While I LOVED raising them and enjoyed every picked flower and loving note they gave me (I have a whole wonderful box of them) I am also excited about what life has in store for us in the coming years. It will be different for sure, but I look forward to it even though I miss the bedtime stories and couch snuggles from their little kid days.
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| Since A had to work, L wanted to have lunch by A's work so she could celebrate with her. |
The hardest part of our lives has been the past 6 months. L has put us through a lot and while we did enjoy celebrating her birthday with her and had several glimpses of the old her throughout the last 6 months, overall she didn't want to get better and you can't help someone who doesn't want help. Having her here was unfair to my other two kids still at home. They have been nothing but stellar human beings and didn't deserve to be thrown into all the drama and craziness that L brought into the house. It wasn't all horrible, some days seemed completely normal which just made it harder to understand the bad days. Like I said there were moments when things seemed normal and we all laughed and enjoyed each other, just like always, but overall L wasn't able to overcome her demons, no matter how much we wanted her to. At least this time we know what's going on. We aren't confused and scared. We are upset with her, but mostly just really, really sad for her. It has been so sad for us to watch her go from a confident, loving girl into an insecure and evil person. She would get so mad that we pity her, but it is tragic and anyone who loves her would feel the same to witness it in real time. A had been considering moving out because all the drama L was putting us through and I felt so mad for T. L ruined the happy carefree childhood he had and she was allowed to have by dropping a huge weight on him. She use to be his best friend. They were so close. However, after every thing she put him through, they will never have that close relationship again. She has made her life so hard now and running back here will not be an option. I will never ask my kids to deal with that ever again. We miss how things were, but we mourned that last time she left. This time it was just sad, but also a little bit of a relief. It was exhausting trying to always have some one watching her and fighting so hard to try and get someone to help her. We had to keep all medications and any sharp objects put up. It was such a pain having to go to our closet every time we needed scissors, knifes, or when anyone needed medication. We had to watch her take her daily medication because we started finding them in the carpet and chair. Someone also had to watch her while we were outside feeding the animals because she couldn't be left alone and unfortunately that usually had to be T. We love her so very much and pray that she will get better and have a wonderful and fulfilling life. We just wish it would have been with us so we could help her navigate through the tough spots.
The kids seem to be doing well. I know T is mad. After her emotionally charged move out, where she didn't even tell the kids goodbye again, T came back and cleaned out the bathroom of her stuff. He also deleted all her profiles from the TV apps. D and I cleaned out her room. Not because we were so mad that we wanted to get rid of all her things, but because there was food crumbs and we had already been dealing with ants in her room so we had to clean everything anyways. We got rid of a lot, but did save a big tote of mementos in case she ever repents and would like some memories from her childhood. We miss the old her.
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| T tried on blazers while L and A were shopping. We did end up buying this one on clearance. |
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| As usual, L wanted to make her own cake. I offered to do it for her so she could relax, but she said she really wanted to make it. It was a gluten free, sugar free Oreo pie. It was pretty good. She did a great job decorating it. |
Unfortunately, we have been dealing with post Nationals illness. It happens after all tournaments when you are so close to so many people. It took D down first and he has been pretty sick for over a week. The cough and congestion seems to be never ending. However, T has been coughing and congested for the past two days, but not nearly as bad as D and today both A and I are feeling really run down. I also have a tickle in my throat and an occasional dry cough. I really hope we don't get it. It seems to have a long shelf life.
I hope everyone has a Happy Easter!
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